Women mentoring brides

Over the weekend I had the honor of attending a wonderful shower for a lovely bride, Emily. Her wedding is in August in Snowmass/Aspen. The focus of the afternoon was a bit more creative than usual. We were all asked to bring something that we could put into a scrapbook, perhaps a recipe or poem or picture memories.

The house was decorated with balloons, the kitchen was full of food, and there was everything and anything to drink. But people were gathered around the work tables using all the scrapbook tools and paraphernalia to create pages full of love and wisdom and laughter. The bride wandered around and talked with friends and family, and the many women who fit into both categories. The room was full of the sound of clipping, rustling, and laughter. Oh, and the occasional "pop" of champagne.

Many of us have had showers, joyous present opening parties, with the focus all on us. Two of my mom's friends, Gerry and Pola gave me an amazing shower years ago, for which I am still grateful. Lots of family, my one California girlfriend, who we found out that day was connected to me through married cousins, and champagne. Lots of gifts. Lots of love during a difficult time in my life.

There is no specific Jewish custom for bridal showers, but the custom in general seems to have started with the need for a dowry. If a father (in any culture) refused to provide a dowry for his daughter, for whatever reason, which prevented her from being able to marry, the women would bring gifts to build the dowry. The gifts from the family and friends would enable the young woman to marry and build a life and future. Wow...the first mentors. And the first aid society run by early feminists.

As the afternoon craft session came to a close, Emily's bridesmaids toasted her with words of love and joy and support. Of course. What came next was so indicative of the Emily, a truly amazing young women. She thanked family and friends for coming, but more importantly she thanked everyone in the room for being a mentor over the years. She said that the true gift she had received was the love and support and guidance from this room full of women, each who shared unique gifts. A room of mentors who helped her spread her wings and fly.

She does not need a physical dowry, but had over the years built a spirutal and energectic dowry; a hope chest full of love and wisdom and laughter and tears and support from the women around her. Wow again.

I hope I lived up in some way to her thanks. I hope over the years I have shared enough, been present enough, gifted enough, and been wise enough, to add to the hope chest of the young women around me. And the young at heart women around me.

I hope you have too. Can you share the ways you have?