Jewish Christmas Mitzvah

Every year someone asks me...so what do Jews do on Christmas? The answer is not simple. Just as so many non-Christians in American celebrate the holiday in a secular fashion, there are Jews who have joined the Christmas frenzy. But many of us do not.

This year I had an overwhelming sense of gratitude for simply surviving the year. The final insurance for my Mom's move showed up the day before Christmas, so we have put that event FINALLY in the past. Somehow I managed to hold down my job, deal with the move, be a half-way reasonable friend and wife, continued to train my Newfoundland, and dedicate some time to my own spiritual growth, which includes writing, my fiber art, and studying Hebrew. The year was full...and I feel blessed that I made it through the rough times with my sense of humor and relationships intact. 

Actually, I have more to be thankful for than I can actually express. I am alive. When I was 25, after a wonderful day of skiing, my intestinal track performed two 360 degree loops around my appendix and turned gangrenous. By the time I called the paramedics, I was so swollen I looked like I was 6 months pregnant and I was writhing in pain. I remember bits and pieces of the next several hours, the exams that made me scream, the insertion of the NG tube, and then waking up after surgery. 

They asked me if I knew where I was and what had happened..and all I really knew what that I was not in pain. The doctor later asked me if I was a runner. When I told him that I was, he nodded his head and told me that it had just saved my life. He estimated that I had less than four hours to live when the surgery started. It took ten days in the hospital with an NG tube to come back from the edge of darkness...minus seven feet of intestinal track and an appendix.

I have gone through two major surgeries since, one to repair a weakness at the suture site, and each time awoke with a sense that I had been gifted extra days, and that each moment is special in some way. I do lose sight of this at times, but something always brings me back.

This Christmas it was volunteering at Shalom Park where my Mom now lives. I met a 100 year old woman who told me to make sure to live every minute of my life fully. She was spry and lovely and energetic and sharp and happy. She told me to give thanks for every gift, to take care of the needs of my body, and to have adventures. She said she was blessed by my visit...but honestly I was blessed by the time I spent with her. 

So, what do Jews do on Christmas? Well...some of us try to spread a bit of kindness, give something back to those around us, and...perhaps...find a miracle or two.

Wishing the best of this season of miracles.


 
 

Be a voice for peace

In this season of celebration, this season of remembering miracles, I want to share one of my favorite

stories with you (source unknown):

"Tell me the weight of a snowflake," a coal-mouse asked a wild dove.”

  "Nothing more than nothing," the dove answered.

"In that case I must tell you a marvelous story," the coal-mouse said. 

 "I sat on a fir branch close to the trunk when it began to snow.

 Not heavily, not in a raging blizzard.  No, just like in a dream,

without any violence at all.  Since I didn't have anything better to do,

I counted the snowflakes settling on the twigs and needles of my branch.

 Their number was exactly 3,471,952.  When the next snowflake dropped onto the

branch--nothing more than nothing--as you say--the branch broke off."

  Having said that, the coal-mouse ran away.

The dove, since Noah's time an authority on peace, thought about the story for a while. 

Finally, she said to herself, "Perhaps there is only one person's voice lacking for peace to come to the world."

This story has helped me find my "inner philanthropist" and become more generous. It has helped me realize the power of one action...one voice...one hand extended to a stranger. Or one light shining inside one person. 

Take the time to be one voice...one hand...one light. 

Jewish Reincarnation...you read that right

There is a Jewish notion that every soul is born with a mission...in Hebrew we call this our Tikkun....what we are sent here to heal...the damage we are sent here to repair. The people we meet, our friends and significant others, and those who touch us in passing, are often messengers to help us understand our own Tikkun...our own mission. 

This means that the traits in others that drive me crazy, might be lessons to help nme grow at a spiritual level. Drat....I hate when that happens.

So OK...my soul came her to accomplish something. I get that.
I get that some of my experiences might based on the way my soul did not complete a task in a prior lifetime. The purpose of reincarnation, gilgul from the Jewish point of view, heal our mistakes and to reach our highest potential. 

For example: The heroes of the Bible and later Jewish histories are said to be the reincarnation of earlier heroes. Thus the soul of Cain (Genesis 4:1‑16) entered the body of Jethro and the soul of Abel the body of Moses. When Moses and Jethro met in friendship they rectified the sin caused by the estrangement of the two brothers (Exodus 18:1‑12). (as cited here).

I have to say that if this year is any indication, I was a VERY nasty person in a least one previous life. A psychic reader once told me that I had willingly walked down the seven of eight steps into evil in some prior life...wonderful. 

Maybe this is why it is so difficult for me to actually pay attention to the rules...why I find it hard to know what is right or wrong...and maybe why I love pirates. Guess I was one. 

In Jewish thought we have up to four opportunities to return and complete our soul's mission. I would like to think that I do not need all four to actually do this...but I have to wonder...if I do take my soul to the highest level...can I just come back for the joy of it? Because as I focus seeing the light in others, and shining my light brighter, this world becomes an amazing place. 

Yes...there are horrid injustices, but there are thousands of organizations and millions of individuals who want to change these. Yes...humans can be cruel and vicious and wicked...but we can also be courageous and kind and generous and heartfelt. And as I focus on the light in others, I find more and more that deep within us there are powerful drives to create a legacy of goodness and light. 

To be continued as I explore the light

The light in the darkness

Sometimes I think I am making progress, becoming a more spiritual person, a better person, a better leader. Sometimes I think I am calmer, more thoughtful, less likely to overreact, more likely to think well of others.

And then I find myself caught up in a conversation and hear myself pass judgement on a person or event without stopping to ask for the real details. My tongue spins a tale before it asks deeper questions. My thoughts run away with deadly scenarios, before I consider the many other possibilities. My heart forgets that everyone deserves to be heard with compassion, deserves a chance to tell their story. I judge before I understand, trust the darkest interpretation without seeing a person's inner light.

So for the rest of the season of darkness I pledge to focus on the light in others. I pledge to bring my light into every situation with the hope that it will allow others to do the same. There are dark, cold, scary places in each of...places that we hide our fears and wounds...that might be transformed with just one candle. I pledge to be that one, small, determined, courageous candle. 

Focus on the light to find the joy

There are some messages of Chanukah that we talk about a great deal.  
To begin with, the victory was not easily won. It actually took over 25 years and took persistence and perseverance and resilience and stamina. All traits that I admire...and that also sound exhausting. 
 
This is not a message that most of us want to hear. We do not want to believe that change takes time and hard work and effort. Sometimes I would rather be able to give the world a Jean Luc Picard "make it so" command and watch the world jump to fulfill my command. Or maybe not. Maybe I want to stop pushing and achieving sometimes.

In fact...in some ways I have been fighting this push-back from the world my entire life. Yes I am persistent and resilient and know how to persevere. But somehow these traits have been inextricably linked to measures of success....meaning we win in some competition. In my life this has meant that I was pushed to perform and compete whenever I demonstrated talent or skill...and then praised or shamed by the words persistence,  stamina, perseverance...and bravery. So sure...I can be brave and push myself to ski or write or ride or play or perform better, stronger, in front of larger crowds, with higher measures of success. 

Sure. And I can also lose all the joy in the activity by doing so. Pushing to reach higher...fly higher...ski double diamonds...compete at dancing...ride a Thoroughbred instead of a quarter horse...perform on the piano...white water kayak....sail across the Pacific...run a 10K and then a 1/2 marathon and then a full marathon faster...and faster...and faster...and faster. And by the way....why don't I apply for a VP position and move on up the ladder? 

The truth is that I am not driven to do any of those things. I often dive deep driven by profound curiosity...and immerse myself in the study or the practice or the experience...until I am done. Or until I have reached the level I find joy. And then sometimes I am done. And then I find that I have moved on to something new.  

There is some point at which "better" is inversely connected to "joy"  

There is a point that pushing harder becomes work and I lose my creative edge, my joyful spirit, and my connection to my inner voice. 

So yes...persistence and perseverance are wonderful, until they are not. Sometimes resiliency means letting go and trying something new. Switch from piano to knitting, from riding to hiking, from running to walking from kayaking to sailing, from content area to new content area. Embrace being a renaissance women and let go of being a master of one craft. 

So I want to embrace a different lesson from Chanukah, one that focuses on a few candles in the dark night. The light is much smaller than the darkness...it does not drive it away...but it can light up my soul. I can embrace joy in the face of awards, intrinsic motivation in the face of assessment, and creative expression in the face of standards and measures. 

And so can you.