Inner Adventuress

The year 2013 will be, whether I like it or not, a year of adventures. Some of them will be planned, but many will not be. Life will just show up and present me with opportunities to live out my inner drama queen or my inner adventuress. 

Since the new year is just days away, I thought a resolution might be in order. Of course, being the nerdy academic that I am, I decided to back this up with some research into what makes us shift into adventuress mode. What makes me respond to an opportunity with an adventure attitude, and how do I "bottle" that to use in the face of the wild ride life takes me on?

How do I look at at the wind, and see the possibilities, rather than down at shore and the dangers? 

After a short bit of research, here are some first thoughts.
An adventure is something that I can feel is a worthy goal, something that I can invest energy into and bring my best self to. This helps me see an issue as simply an "issue" to resolve or a understand that it is an opportunity and a grand adventure to engage in that reflects the way that I move through the world.

Since adventures have uncertain outcomes and can be challenging, I need to build up my tolerance for ambiguity and a bit of adversity. Perhaps delayed gratification is a better term. Anything worthy of the title of "adventure" takes a bit of effort and work and commitment. 

And an attitude of friendship. I choose not to bond over dramatic histrionics. I choose to bond over adventures, no matter how small. This might be the inner adventuress creed, no adventure is too small to enjoy, or too big to become a trauma drama.

More to follow....but I invite you to join me...and the wedding dress... in 2013 to explore your inner adventuress. Let me know how I can inspire you. 

Winter blessings

I do love this time of year, even if I am freezing half the time. While there is a part of my soul that wants to live where the weather fits my flip-flops year round, December does seem made for cold and snow. When the temperature dips into the single digits (it was 2 degrees this morning) many analogies become real. The snow is cold enough to squeak when walked on. The air is crisp enough to make the inside of my nose tingle. The world is quiet, sound muffled by the layer of snow on the ground and the flakes in the air. I do feel grateful for warm clothes and a fire place and hot drinks. And the world does look clean and new under this blanket of white.

In fact the weather makes me feel very alive, especially when I leave the comfort of the warm house. The darkest day of the year has passed, and we can step into a world that is filling with light again. The cold is invigorating and encourages me to move quickly. How can I be anything but grateful?

There is a Jewish tradition of saying 100 blessings a day, starting with blessings of thanks for awakening in the morning, for having a body of amazing design, for the purity of our souls which are renewed daily, and for all the beauty and abundance in the world around us. We only need to look at the wondrous working of our own body, or the brilliance in the world around us to appreciate the many gifts we have been given. This is a lesson I have taken to heart this year, attempting to have "thank you" be the first words out of my mouth in the morning, and the final ones I say at night.

A new wedding, a new dress, and  new perspective, one of thanksgiving every day. Rather than wishing the cold away so that I can return to summer sports, I am giving thanks for it. Rather than wishing vacations would last longer, I am giving thanks that I am lucky enough to have days to spend in the manner I wish. Rather than wishing the next adventure would arrive, I am giving thanks for anticipation and the fun of planning.

Maybe this is one of the gifts of having adventures, that time in between to remember, reflect and to plan ahead! The pauses, like in music, are the empty spaces that make the notes sing. This time in between, when I can say thank you for having a job, when I can enjoy looking ahead, is a time of resonance. A time for my soul to catch up with the song of my life. 

Chanukah

Chanukah begins on the night of the 25th of Kislev every year. This night does not always fall near the winter solstice but it does fall during the darkest time of the year. Because the Jewish calendar is a moon calendar that is corrected every few years to align with the Roman calendar, all Jewish holidays seem to move around. The word Chanukah actually means dedication, as in re-dedication of the temple after it was taken back from the Hellenistic rulers and soldiers. This was a war against assimilation,  that reminds us to remember who we are, to stay the course in spite of the siren songs around us. 

How funny that this minor Jewish holiday that happens to fall close to Christmas every year has some how taken on some odd significance in the modern world. It has been assimilated. So to set the record straight, there is no Chanukah Harry, or Chanukah bush, or a tradition of a large gift every night. This is not a holiday celebrating peace, rather it commemorates winning a small war. There is a tradition of lighting candles, one for each night, eating fried food, and playing dreidle. 

Here is a bit more information: Chanukah NOT the Jewish Xmas

It is a holiday about a miracle, but in typical Jewish fashion we are not sure what the miracle is. Is it that a small band of individuals were willing to stand up against the majority voices at great personal risk? Is it that this small group won against the larger force? We always hear that the miracle is that the oil for the ner tamid, the sacred light, lasted 8 days, but I wonder if the great miracle was knowing there was not enough oil but lighting the lamp anyway. Or is the miracle that we still remember an uprising in a distant part of the world that happened over two thousand years ago? Or that are still Jews around to celebrate?

I love this holiday. The light increases each night as we light one more candle until we light all 8 (plus the shamesh) on the final night. We have a menorah for each family member, including Shiloh, so the house seems full of light. The first night we were having so much fun that we burned the latkes...but that was part of the fun. This is an easy holiday, one that wraps around me and reminds me that sometimes we have to stand up for what we believe. And that having that courage is a miracle.

I wish you joy in whatever you choose to celebrate, or not celebrate, this season.

outgoing women

I have been thinking more and more about women and adventures. We are told in so many subtle, and not so subtle ways that the world is a dangerous place for women, and the trouble will follow if we venture in the unknown. We have many stories about men and boys having adventures, but girls are usually in a supporting role. Some stories start with the trouble that is raised when women head out of the boundaries that her family and culture has set. 

But the trouble is not the adventure, the trouble is on the woman trying her wings, the trouble starts when we are prevented from exploring and following our hearts. This is a woman's way of being a light in the world, by first being a light to herself. We are that light when we listen to our hearts and reach beyond our limits, when we reach to our heart's desire. Dorothy ended her story by saying that her heart's desire must be in her own backyard, but really, it was the adventure to OZ that her heart craved. Without this adventure she would not understand what is was to live. Alice had to go down the rabbit hole to understand her power.  It is the adventure that makes us strong.

There is a Cheyenne saying that tells us the importance of women. It is said that "A nation is not conquered until the hearts of its women are on the ground. Then it is done, no matter how brave its warriors nor how strong its weapons." When women are trapped, unable to listen to their hearts, unable to reach deep into their souls and awaken the dreams that sleep there, the nation is conquered. When women cannot touch the stars, the stars will go out. 

It is outgoing women who change the world. 

Outgoing women