Changing Holidays to Holy days

 I missed one of my new favorite holidays this year...Simchat Torah...because I was out of town. On this day we complete our reading of the Torah and IMMEDIATELY start reading it again. The only way to do this is to unroll the entire Torah  which requires many careful hands. We tenderly hold the parchment, which is a thin material made from hide, sometimes calfskin, sheepskin or goatskin. The words have been hand written by a scribe.   

 Some of these are hundreds of years old and have been saved from war torn nations or from places they were hidden during the holocaust. We unwind the Torah, putting the end next to the beginning and then read the last words and the first words. We have met the commandment of always reading Torah.
Then we roll the scroll back up so that we can open to Genesis, dress the Torah back in her garments, and then we dance.

 We say some prayers, play some music and pass the Torah around as we dance with her. We twirl and spin and laugh and renew our spirits. Dance and laughter become holy, and we remember the pathway to holiness as individuals and a community.

A ritual turns the holiday into a holy day. And this is what I am discovering on my journey. It is the immersion in the ritual that makes it and me holy. In the same way that I immersed myself in the mikvah, I can dive deeply into the prayers and songs and symbols and rituals and turn a holiday into a holy day. I can turn off my mind and let my heart dance and let the experiences sing to me and change me.

Tomorrow is Halloween, which used to be my favorite holiday. The wedding dress is going to help me hand out candy as I reflect on holidays and holy days. 

New Job in my new life

Fall is the time for new beginnings in my life, perhaps because the Jewish holy days focus on re-a-tune-ment and realignment and return. Perhaps because it is my favorite season, one full of a certain quality of light and beautiful colors. Perhaps it is because schools starts in the fall. It is the season of walking and changing. So how fitting that this season should be marked by a new job.

A couple weeks ago I was offered the position of
Dean of the school of Humanities and Social Sciences at Regis University. 
It is my third Dean position; my first was at Rocky Mountain College of Art and Design, the second at the Community College of Denver, and this is the third.

 I came to Regis in part due to the mission which, while it is Jesuit, reflects Jewish themes, especially the notion that learning brings us closer to G-d. How appropriate for this year of discovery through my wedding dress journey. Learning about my own spiritual journey, my own sense of 
meaning and purpose, and learning about my own strengths and challenges deepens my connection to G-d. 

And all of this is grounded in Shabbat, my weekly anchor. The great Zionist, thinker and ideologue Ahad Ha'am is quoted as saying, "More than Jews have kept shabbat, Shabbat has kept the Jews." The Jewish notion of time is that time is a spiral that is marked by the sacredness of Shabbat. We are welcoming this time, embracing this time, because it is truly different. That hours between sundown Friday and Saturday are sacred. We have an extra soul, an extra dose of holiness, an easier connection to the divine. We are closer to G-d and closer to our true self. 


What does this have to do with my wedding journey? Shabbat becomes a Chuppah each week, a holy place to return to, a sacred space in time to renew my marriage and soul. Each Friday I can set the table, straighten the house, prepared the candles, bread and wine, and yes, cover my head, as a way to re-create the moment of prayer and promise under the chuppah. 

Why a chuppah? This is a great youtube talk about the way a chuppah starts a Jewish marriage with a lesson of sacred space why a chuppah?

And what is the wedding dress up to? Just wait...Halloween is coming!

Sukkot

 When Ric converted he built me a sukkah for the holiday of Sukkot...the first one I have ever had. My family was not observant and I had never even see an sukkah, or knew what it was for. But this is holiday that I have now fallen in love with, a holiday for sitting outside in the fall weather in a small booth open on one side with a roof through which the stars can be seen.

Well this year Ric was busy so we resorted to pop-up version...our tent. Not quite as comfy, but still fulfilled the commandment. And the newfy loved it since she could actually fit inside with us. We had a few friends over, another first for us.

This holiday is a statement that we are safe, even when our roof is not solid and our walls are not completed. We are safe in the world under the stars. If the weather is cold we can warm ourselves with food and wine and the joy of friends. If the weather is warm we can bask in the fall light and colors.

Another part of the holiday inovles a lulav and etrog (also knows as a citron). The plam, willow and myrtle, along with the etrog must be ordered from Israel in time for the holiday. I ordered in plenty of time, but somehow my lulav traveled from Israel to New York to Los Angeles to Colorado.....and on to Kansas where it ended up in the fraud department. Calls to UPS confirmed that my shipment was in Kansas. So I called the fraud division there and was told that yes my package was there. That was it, they would tell me nothing more, not even why it was there or what would happen next. I asked if they kept it until the end of the Holocene, or until the next ice age, or if they tossed it into a volcano as a sacrafice. No laughter and no answer.

Clearly I needed some sort of intervention. After repeated phone calls and questions (I even asked why they bothered to answer the phone since they could not tell me anything) I was told that my package had been lost and now...miraculously...had been found and was on its way to Colorado. It still had my name and tracking number on it, and they knew where it was, but now it was found. Sigh. The etrog and palm arrived fresh and intact, but Kansas had been too much for the myrtle and willow, so Ric and I had to substitute Colorado versions. We used it even as the leaves were drying and shedding around us.   

On the wonderful last day of sukkot we were invited to a Sukkahpolooza at a friend's house and were able to eat outside near a Colorado outdoor fireplace and flame heater that Ric called the tower of flame. We brought the etrog and shedding lulav and let anyone who wanted to shake it to the seven directions and offer up thanks and prayers. We left leaves in all directions.

Nope, no wedding dress....but don't worry...it is on the road again soon.

Recovering from Yom Kippur

Yom Kippur wrapped me in wings of change, in the same way that my tallit wraps me in a sacred space for prayer. My planning was a bit off going into this 25 hour fast. I was running late from work so I had a small meal at the end of a day that had included a small salad for lunch. We headed up to Kol Nidre, and I was hungry when I came home.
I was hungry and thirsty when I awoke and headed to prayers, and beyond nervous.

In a fit of craziness, or perhaps just the inability to say no quickly,I had agreed to chant Torah on Yom Kippur. My Hebrew is still rough and I cannot sing, and here I was about to sing in Hebrew in front of a very musical congregation. While hungry and thirsty. The short version of the story is that I managed to pronounce all the words correctly and only slightly lost the correct trope. What a rush.

And then the morning was over and a few of us set off for a short walk in Elk Meadows. Short and easy being the important word. It was neither...nor was it dry. Half way through what turned into a 5 mile walk the rain and hail started. We made sure to keep pace with the slowest hiker, and in the end a few of us ran ahead and grabbed a car to come back and fetch the last tow. Did I mention I was hungry and thirsty and now wet?

Luckily I always take spare clothes with me and was able to head into the final round of prayers in dry clothes. But I was struggling. It is traditional to stand as much as possible in the afternoon, yes while hungry and thirsty. Usually my body has moved passed the hunger, but not this year. I found myself physically struggling, which in some odd way pushed me deeper into prayer. The more my body ached the further I traveled on the pathway to t'shuva, the return. Hmmm, maybe this was part of the plan, a way to induce a more prayerful state.

What does this have to do with a wedding dress? Renewal, return, a commitment to a spiritual journey, a connection to G-d. The people Israel are often referred to as the bride, as is Shabbat, and at times as is the Torah. We are the bride in a relationship with the divine. And this year I am a bride exploring my deepest connection, the Jewish halachah...and way...the walk...the spiritual journey that leads from weddings to hats to chanting in public....and on to even more adventures.