Veil

All the bits and pieces are coming together amazingly well.
I have the dress and veil at home...but the big reveal will have to wait until the wedding day. Sharon the amazing seamstress adjusted the dress, made my veil and added some bling to the sash, all for less than alterations would have cost at a big store. Veils are MUCH cheaper to make and a seamstress can make one that actually fits and has lots of bling on it for much less money.

The Jewish veil has to have a "blusher" or front veil for the bedeken ceremony, when the groom looks at the bride and then covers her face with the veil. The tradition of the bedeken ceremony arose because when the biblical Jacob, about to marry his chosen bride, Rachel, he was tricked by Rachel's father, Laban, into marrying Rachel's older sister, Leah. Laban concealed Leah's identity with an opaque veil. For this reason the groom must personally lower the veil of his bride to cover her face prior to the ceremony. http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/313719/jewish/The-Veiling-Ceremony-Bedeken.htm

There are several other biblical and kabbalistic  interpretations of this ceremony, all of which suggest something about the nature of marriage. The veil indicates that the women is married, a station that demanded respect in biblical times. A veil also connotes separateness and an almost other-worldliness. The bride is now set aside, not only from other men, but in a similar fashion to the sacred and sanctified elements of the temple. A veil also teaches that "the glory of the princess is the interior" focusing the attention on the inner qualities of soul and character rather than on the face of the bride. Beauty may fade with time, but a woman's spiritual qualities are something she keeps forever.  


My favorite interpretation, however is a bit more esoteric. In the biblical story of Rebecca and Issac, Rebecca veils herself when she see Issac. In this sense her veil symbolizes that she was a private person, a self-confident individual who would not be easily compromised by the thoughts of others. After all, it is Rebecca who assures that Jacob receives the patriarchal blessing rather then Esau. Her veil is a symbol of her capacity to be both a wife and a powerful individual.

Ric and I have been married for 25 years. I am sure he has noticed my strong streak of independence by now. Perhaps the veiling ceremony for us is an acknowledgement of accepting each other as we are. We are both independent, and at the same time committed to common dreams. We have outside lives, but have a shared life that is not open to others. So the veil simultaneously separates and connects, marking us as individuals and as a couple, two people in relationship with G-d, with self and with each other.