Seven blessings

I have been to so many weddings full of speeches and poems and long wedding vows written by bride and groom, that it is a relief to let tradition take over. I don't have to plan this, I can just be part of it.

Under the chuppa, after all the circling is over, the bride and groom do not say much. There are two different wine blessings followed by wine sipping; on for the betrothal and one for that marriage vows. All I have to say is: Haray ata m'kudash lib'taba'at zu k'dat Moshe v'Yisrael (by this ring you are consecrated to me in accordance with the traditions of Moses and Israel. No long vows or promises, the ketubbah takes care of all that.

Ric and I do have tradition of blessings on Shabbat, and we thought we might add this to the ceremony. We do not sing, but use a blessing H'nach Yafah that is based on the song of songs. A bit more for us to say if we can get this memorized!

And then the seven blessings are recited, the sheva b'rachot. This is actually the core of a Jewish wedding, that element that while not legally required, is almost a cultural requisite. This is the part of the wedding that moves from the private...the vows between individuals...to the community. And of course for this to be a community celebration ten adult (13 or older) Jews need to be present. The marriage becomes a new thread in the tapestry of the Jewish community, adding to a changing the design.

These blessings can be sung by the rabbi or cantor, but there is also the tradition of honoring guests by asking them to read or change a blessing. This is what happened in Israel at my cousin's wedding. The slightly tipsy rabbi held out the mic to people around the chuppa to repeat the prayers. Ric almost got snagged....we fit in too well and looked like we could speak Hebrew I guess.

The blessing locate the bride and groom within Jewish time, history and theology. They echo some of the themes of Judaism: creation, Eden, Zion, Redemption, and Jerusalem. The bride and groom are a metaphor for the re-uniting of the G-d and the Shechinah, the masculine and feminine aspects of Hashem. This union then represents Jewish redemption, which is not an individual experience, but human experience. The people Israel find redemption, not the individual Jew. So a marriage, while it is a private contract, is a community experience. For a moment all those in attendance taste a bit of the redemption, a peaceful and lovely and blessed time and space.

By the way...there is a great book on all this stuff:
The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant.