The gift of a glue gun

I had no idea that a pile of shells, some wire and ribbon,  a selection of fresh water pearl beads, and a glue gun could bring people together in such a fun and profound way. I brought in all the elements for the mermaid shell bouquet and asked the staff at Regis if they would like to help me put this together. We do not have a pattern or a plan, just a sense that mermaids would carry long stem sea bouquets made of shells and pearls. So we started there.

Life has been a bit tense at work. We are in an area under going remodeling so we are dealing with dust and loud bangs and the sound of drilling and smells and temperamental air conditioning. The outside temps have been in the 100's, and the inside atmosphere has been stressful. Who knew that a craft project could bring us together and make us laugh. Who knew that a glue gun could connect people's hearts.

 People came and went and gathered and drifted and returned to show work and to laugh. Each person made one "long stem flower" for the bouquet, or one leaf, or one other element. No rules, no pattern, no plan, no way to do this wrong. Just laughter and a glue gun. Just the freedom to create an individual piece that would stand alone, and add beauty to the whole. 

In some ways today was extraordinary. This was more than a craft project; this was a spontaneous expression of friendship. This was a "Regis Spring." A group of people came together to joyfully express the power of creative freedom. There was no critique, no assessment, no rubric, no portfolios, no oversight. No one was more creative than anyone else. No one had a better idea.

 This was academic freedom at work.


This was also an amazing gift. I had an idea. My mermaid soul wanted sea shells and pearls and the color turquoise, and magically a group of people came together and created something that matched the song in my heart. 

 I have been at more team building retreats than I can count, climbing and jumping and zipping and testing, and talking and sharing and discussing and retreating and pulling away, and on and on and on. And on and on. And on. All of these started with good intentions...at least I think they did. But in so many ways they fell flat. They were contrived. They were awkward. They were always about the group without

 thought to the needs or strengths of the individual. Someone shouted from the front of the room "there is no I in team" and I wanted to leave. If there is no "I" then what am I doing here?


Today there were lots of "I's" in the room. Lots of individual voices joining in the symphony of laughter. So many people 

 willing to bring their best creative self to the table to create a gift for my wedding. 


I then I got it. This is the message of the Jewish wedding. There are two individuals who agree to to bring their best selves together for the good of each other. Not to become ONE PERSON, but to stay TWO people, each with different gifts and roles and strengths and weaknesses, committed to the dance of marriage. And these two people, who stay individuals 

 but commit to a union, do so in the presence of a community, and as part of the community. 


I can bring my best self to the marriage and know that Ric is doing the same. And that this marriage, this union of two spirits creates an energy, a force for good that was not there before. And as this creative energy grows, it dances through the community inspiring and enlightening and enlivening the community at large. And yet each of us is still a marvelous and unique individual. 

 Just as each stem in the bouquet will carry a makers mark, an individual flair reminding me who made it, each individual in a marriage, or in a community, adds a necessary and unique element that transforms and informs the whole. We are meant to live our soul's message, to be unique voices in the cacophony of our communities, and our relationships. Perhaps that is the only measure we really 

need, a measure of how we are being our true  self.


The individual flowers are still growing. I can't wait to see the beauty of each. I know that they will be magnificent together. 

Proposal

     We decided to spend two nights at the wonderful B&B in Rosh Pinna. Our cousins headed back to the Kibbutz and we wandered around this old city. It was built in the late 1800's, so it is really not old by Israeli standards, but the cobblestone streets and rock buildings makes it feel a bit like Zfat.

     There is an Israeli custom that brides travel around right before the wedding and take pictures in different locations. On our walk through the tiny old part of town we saw two brides posing under aches and in front of flowers, while a car decked in flowers dropped off a third. We walked by and said "mazel tov" which actually means good start (as in astrology) to the brides while cameras clicked.

Most of these buildings have been renovated with electricity and plumbing, but there are still a couple that are in their original condition. Actually, since I doubt there was vegetation in the living areas originally, they are in worse condition. Ric decided that a couple of these had potential for a family B&B business.

 He wandered around and peered in windows while we tried to decipher the Hebrew for sale signs. Some have amazing views, which of course you can see when you look through the windows since there are few intact walls inside. He was planning our next trip and retirement plan, giving out job assignments to each family member.

The rocks are the same type used for building in Zfat and have the same "songs" in them. The town faces the Golan Heights and Jordan River valley. There is good wine, great weather, and most people spoke at least some English.
   The sun was setting and my very NOT romantic husband said that if I would marry him again, he would come to our wedding. I think that was a proposal. Since I do need him under the Chuppa for this entire traveling wedding dress idea to work, I said yes. So now we are officially engaged and can start working on more wedding details!

Tel Dan and the famous convert

We drove north to the top of Israel and Tel Dan: Tel Dan link.
Even though this does not make a great deal of geographical sense, Tel Dan is considered the place that Naomi and Ruth returned from Moab, and the place that Ruth, the most famous Jewish convert married Boaz. 

     We hiked up to the Dan gate, the place that Boaz
agreed to redeem Ruth, the Moabite convert. If you don't know the end of the story, Ruth married Boaz, they had one night together, and then he died. She gave birth to a son, who was handed to Naomi, so that she could see her line continue. It is from this line that King David was born.
     Pretty amazing story, but the location is really amazing for the water. This is the head waters of the Jordan River.

In the middle of this hot dry dessert land, at the base of the Golan is the wild stream that feed the Jordan River and ultimately the Kinneret...or Sea of Galilee. There is cold fresh clear water everywhere. Amazingly clear.  There are pools without any r algae. Flowing streams with out moss. Rocks are wet but not slick. The water is fresh and refreshing and wonderful. No wonder Ruth and Naomi wanted to come home to this spot.
     So Ric is in good company as a convert. We added this to our list of wonderful places to visit on our pre-wedding day trip.

The Bride of Rosh Hanikra

We went to the edge of the Israeli Lebanon border to Rosh Hanikra: rosh Hanikra link.
These are limestone caves carved out by the pounding of

the turquoise sea. We took the trolley down to the caves and walked through the limestone listening to the sea calling our names....or at least my name. How can a mermaid resist the call of this clear cool water? Some how I managed..but I have to admit I leaned pretty far over the the guard rails.

Inside the caves the water rocks with the waves,

but seems smooth enough for a kayak. It is probably

deceptive, but I was sure I could navigate this peaceful and wild water. A perfect place for a mermaid to hang out.

Then we heard the story of the bride and I was sure that another mermaid had answered the call. In the legend a young girl had been promised to a rich Lebanese merchant,

who she did not love. When she came to the crossing through the caves she heard the sea call to her and answered by flinging herself into the waters. She disappeared and her body was never found.

Of course not...I am sure she sang the song of the sea and her legs turned in to a tail and she swam off to freedom. It is said that she visits the shore and blesses brides who are marrying for love. I sang my song of the sea to her...the song that I believe will return me to the sea...and asked for her blessing. I am pretty sure there was a ripple of response in the turquoise waters below me. Was that a flicker of a tail deep within the pools? Good thing the was a guard rail...or who knows where I would be.

The best wedding ever

     The wedding was in the  Old city of Jaffa at sunset at an amazing venue:  Beit Andromeda. We were dressed up and ready for the celebration to start.

I won't have pictures for a while, but I do hope to add a

video at some point.

     We arrived with the family and were handed glassed of wine. The bride and groom signed the ketubbah and then mingled at the guests arrived. Food should up...really good food. Israelis understand the vegetarians actually like food. The veggies were amazing. I did skip the guacamole and salsa...it just seemed wrong. But I had to force myself to stop eating.

     So the wine and food flowed while the guests arrived and worked out Jewish geography. We all know we are connected or related somehow, and if we do not know a person we immediately try to figure out how we are connected. English, Hebrew and a bit of Ladino words filled my ears as the band started to play Greek music. The sun started to set and we heard someone call L'topeh...the chuppa!

    We all escorted the bride and groom to a grassy area over looking the sea and setting sun and the Reb started us in prayer. He looked like he had already indulged at a couple other weddings...his black hat and tie were both askew. He was smiling and swaying as we prayed for the bride and groom.

     Songs in Hebrew are sung so much louder when everyone knows Hebrew. So how funny that when asked to recite on of the seven blessings the fathers both stuttered, the groomsman faltered, and the other guests laughed.

     The last prayer was changed, the glass was smashed...roundly and loudly...and we all started to sing Mazel tov, simach tov. The place was hopping...really....we were all just jumping up and down. The bride tossed the flowers and lead us back to the food, drink and music.

     We danced and eat until around 10 when the amazing desserts showed up. Fruit and cheesecake and watermelon and chocolate.  And then everyone kept dancing until midnight when tuna burgers, french fries and pizza was served.

     Ric and I grabbed a cab and headed back to our very tiny hotel room. Really...you have no idea. Imagine a new york hotel that cost about $150 and you will get the picture.

    I think Ric and I will start our wedding the same way....food and drink is a great way to warm up the crowd.

collecting sea shells

We walked on the shore at Ceasarea where the beach is solid shells. I decided my bouquet should be from Isreal, so we collected white turban shells .

Wedding business idea...salon parties!

     Weddings in Israel are wild fun, and start with the bridal preparations. Just after lunch we met up with Rhea and her friends at a hair salon. I hope to have pictures of some of this to post soon from this wild day, but this will give you a general idea: wedding prep
     We got to the salon and Rhea had just finished getting her hair extensions and the top part of her hair in rollers. The stylist put a net over her head, and she joined her friends for food and drink. There was another bridal party there too, and they were eating and drinking at the other end of the salon, hair up in rollers with nets holding the hair in place. The music was pounding and girls were running in and out of the salon to hug friends who were dropping by to say hi. Down the street were several wedding dress stores (the one in the video) and on both sides of the street were dozens of nail and hair shops. Wedding row was hopping.
     I do wish I had before and after pictures of my hair. I walked in with what we call a "Jew-fro" meaning wild mermaid hair. Bigger than big...and NOT curly...just wild. I looked Israeli, as I mentioned before. They washed and blew dry my hair so that is was tame (the same guys in the video worked on all of us) and went off to work on the other women. Hair was washed and rolled and all the time the CAMERAS were rolling.
     Yep, this is the newest thing here, capturing the entire wedding experience on film. There was a video of everything from wet hair on, as well as cameras flashing. Each bride had three...count them...three photographers clicking and filming ever minute of the washing, rolling, drying, curling, brushing, hair spraying (LOTS of spray) and make-up applying.
     HOURS went by as we waited for the final brushing and styling and the last minute make-up application. One bride changed into her dress and walked down a spiral staircase, built for just such occasions, into the arms of her groom. An Israeli love song was blasting on the sound system and every moment and every tear was filmed.
     Rhea's make-up was next, and it was put in with a vengeance. She did not bring her dress, and so rushed out into a waiting car, followed by her personal paparazzi team, and went back to her hotel to change for the wedding. I can only imagine the filming that went on there.
     Finally Judith, Savyon and I escaped. Their hair was stiff from the spray, and their make-up looked permanent. Meanwhile my straight locks escaped the evils of spray, and my face was still naked since we were so short on time. We rushed to a cab to get back to our hotel to change.
     Rhea is supposed to get a complete video and e-scrapbook of the event. If I get access to it I will post. If you own a beauty parlour, consider this as your next business investment. But if you are following my wedding plans, do not expect to see this experience replicated.    

Escorting the Bride

     We landed in Israel at 3:30 and by 7:30 I was on my way to Tel Aviv with my cousin Judith. Her eldest daughter, Rhea, is going to be married tomorrow, and so tonight she visits the Mikvah for the first time. It is considered an honor to escort the bride to her Mikvah, so we are going with her. Since Israeli's view everything as a possible party opportunity, several of Rhea's friends will be escorting coming. So we are bringing food and drink.
    Mikvahs  are the spiritual baths used by Jewish women and men. They  are considered so important that the mikvah was the first site constructed in ancient communities. Now they can be found in all Jewish communities, and there is one walking distance from Rhea's home.
    Just to be clear, mikvahs are not about physical dirt or connected to any concept of women being inferior or dirty. Jewish tradition, much like native American traditions, views some actions or situations as bringing us closer to life and G-d and some as pulling us away. A funeral, for example, brings us closer to death, as does surgery, child birth, menstruation and illness. The mikvah is a way to cleanse off the touch of lifelessness and purify our souls so that we are ready for sacred acts. A woman will go to the mikvah before her wedding in part to acknowledge the sacredness of this new time in her life.
     The mikvah is a pool of water fed in part by natural water, or an natural body of water, such as a stream or lake. In Tel Aviv the mikvah water is mixed with natural rain water and is lovely. I have heard tales of cramped and moldy mikvahs, but never seen one. Most of them now look like spas with a waiting room, a preparation room, the large mikvah pool itself (they must be at least 2 feet square and 6 feet deep, but most are larger), and a drying room. Here is some more information: Mikvah information
     This is a careful and meditative bathing time. The bride takes a shower and washes her hair, and my even soak in a bath tube. All the nooks and crannies are cleaned lovingly. The bride combs her hair so there are no tangles, removes all her jewelry and nail polish and scrubs her skin and brushes her teeth, and perhaps uses scented soaps. When she is relaxed and clean she wraps herself in a towel and walks into the room with the mikvah itself. A woman will help her check her preparations (did you clean under your nails and comb your hair?) and watch her while she "dunks" in the water.
     The tradition is to dunk three or seven times (family tradition varies) with prayers said before and after. Water must envelope the entire body, so the feet are lifted and the body is allowed to sink into the warm water. We go into the water the way we came into the world, naked and wet.
     This mikvah had marble floors and marble tiled walls. There was filtered water available, places for women to sit, and private preparation rooms. Rhea went into the water with her mother watching from the steps while the rest of us waited to celebrate with her. She came out smiling and "kosher," ready for her wedding.

Got English? Got Dig?

     We made it to Israel and have been having wedding adventures for three days. Now that I have finally figured out how to access this blog in English I can start updating. Actually, my Hebrew study has been paying off. I can actually listen to Hebrew conversations and get the general drift. Somehow my body language, including knowing when to laugh with a group, has convinced some people that I understand full conversations.
     And somehow I look Israeli. When we went through security coming into Israel, I was asked, in Hebrew, if I had an Israeli passport. The guard laughed when I responded "not yet." 
     We made it into the country and to the kibbutz. We are back in the guest house complete with basic Israeli necessities...coffee and wine. It feels so familiar this time. We even are able to navigate to the store in the dark.
     The Kibbutz is located in Gezar (the Hebrew word for carrot) at the base of Tel Gezar, an archaeological site.      Tel Gezar  We saw the current excavation during our morning walk. We stopped to talk with the professor in charge (and told him where to buy Harley shirts in Tel Aviv) and he invited me to come up another morning and go into the cave for a geological opinion
    More about all of this  later...but now I have to go back to the beginning and capture our trip in chronological order.

     
    
    

On an adventure

     The last few days have been very busy getting ready for our trip to Israel. My cousin is getting married and we are going to be there under the Chuppa with her. All Jewish Israeli weddings are orthodox in nature, so there will be a great deal of tradition. However, we hear that Israelis love to party, so this should be fun.
     The festivities take place in the old city of Jaffa. Remember the story about Andromeda and Perseus? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andromeda_(mythology)
 Perseus saved her from the sea monster in Old                       
 Jaffa. The city, as with all of Israel is steeped in myth and history.


      Stay tuned for blogs from Israel.