Focus on the light to find the joy

There are some messages of Chanukah that we talk about a great deal.  
To begin with, the victory was not easily won. It actually took over 25 years and took persistence and perseverance and resilience and stamina. All traits that I admire...and that also sound exhausting. 
 
This is not a message that most of us want to hear. We do not want to believe that change takes time and hard work and effort. Sometimes I would rather be able to give the world a Jean Luc Picard "make it so" command and watch the world jump to fulfill my command. Or maybe not. Maybe I want to stop pushing and achieving sometimes.

In fact...in some ways I have been fighting this push-back from the world my entire life. Yes I am persistent and resilient and know how to persevere. But somehow these traits have been inextricably linked to measures of success....meaning we win in some competition. In my life this has meant that I was pushed to perform and compete whenever I demonstrated talent or skill...and then praised or shamed by the words persistence,  stamina, perseverance...and bravery. So sure...I can be brave and push myself to ski or write or ride or play or perform better, stronger, in front of larger crowds, with higher measures of success. 

Sure. And I can also lose all the joy in the activity by doing so. Pushing to reach higher...fly higher...ski double diamonds...compete at dancing...ride a Thoroughbred instead of a quarter horse...perform on the piano...white water kayak....sail across the Pacific...run a 10K and then a 1/2 marathon and then a full marathon faster...and faster...and faster...and faster. And by the way....why don't I apply for a VP position and move on up the ladder? 

The truth is that I am not driven to do any of those things. I often dive deep driven by profound curiosity...and immerse myself in the study or the practice or the experience...until I am done. Or until I have reached the level I find joy. And then sometimes I am done. And then I find that I have moved on to something new.  

There is some point at which "better" is inversely connected to "joy"  

There is a point that pushing harder becomes work and I lose my creative edge, my joyful spirit, and my connection to my inner voice. 

So yes...persistence and perseverance are wonderful, until they are not. Sometimes resiliency means letting go and trying something new. Switch from piano to knitting, from riding to hiking, from running to walking from kayaking to sailing, from content area to new content area. Embrace being a renaissance women and let go of being a master of one craft. 

So I want to embrace a different lesson from Chanukah, one that focuses on a few candles in the dark night. The light is much smaller than the darkness...it does not drive it away...but it can light up my soul. I can embrace joy in the face of awards, intrinsic motivation in the face of assessment, and creative expression in the face of standards and measures. 

And so can you.