Recovering from Yom Kippur

Yom Kippur wrapped me in wings of change, in the same way that my tallit wraps me in a sacred space for prayer. My planning was a bit off going into this 25 hour fast. I was running late from work so I had a small meal at the end of a day that had included a small salad for lunch. We headed up to Kol Nidre, and I was hungry when I came home.
I was hungry and thirsty when I awoke and headed to prayers, and beyond nervous.

In a fit of craziness, or perhaps just the inability to say no quickly,I had agreed to chant Torah on Yom Kippur. My Hebrew is still rough and I cannot sing, and here I was about to sing in Hebrew in front of a very musical congregation. While hungry and thirsty. The short version of the story is that I managed to pronounce all the words correctly and only slightly lost the correct trope. What a rush.

And then the morning was over and a few of us set off for a short walk in Elk Meadows. Short and easy being the important word. It was neither...nor was it dry. Half way through what turned into a 5 mile walk the rain and hail started. We made sure to keep pace with the slowest hiker, and in the end a few of us ran ahead and grabbed a car to come back and fetch the last tow. Did I mention I was hungry and thirsty and now wet?

Luckily I always take spare clothes with me and was able to head into the final round of prayers in dry clothes. But I was struggling. It is traditional to stand as much as possible in the afternoon, yes while hungry and thirsty. Usually my body has moved passed the hunger, but not this year. I found myself physically struggling, which in some odd way pushed me deeper into prayer. The more my body ached the further I traveled on the pathway to t'shuva, the return. Hmmm, maybe this was part of the plan, a way to induce a more prayerful state.

What does this have to do with a wedding dress? Renewal, return, a commitment to a spiritual journey, a connection to G-d. The people Israel are often referred to as the bride, as is Shabbat, and at times as is the Torah. We are the bride in a relationship with the divine. And this year I am a bride exploring my deepest connection, the Jewish halachah...and way...the walk...the spiritual journey that leads from weddings to hats to chanting in public....and on to even more adventures.